Sunday, 20 December 2015

The Humble Spinner

The last few weeks have seen the rivers up and up again, not just here but countrywide. I've struggled to get any enthusiasm to go out. Had a short session on the canal drop shotting for micro Perch, not my thing at all. Sure the merits are  there for  all to see as a competition tool. But I fish for pleasure so will not be fishing this way again. It bored me and catching sight of my reflection, holding the rod in a pen grip I thought "You look a bigger prick than normal"

So finally for a few days only by the looks of it,  the sheer volume of water has dropped giving me half a chance. Still holding a fair amount of colour, so I dug about in the box for a copper coloured spinner, quite unfashionable now. I thought I'd blank but it turned out well.







This Jack hit the lure three times in a row in three casts. Twice it went airborne and shook the hooks, the third time I struck harder and he was in the net. Who said Pike are daft? Nicked a few more about the same stamp, good hits and cracking fun.



This one was the best of it, none big but what can you complain about it if you're getting hook ups and sport.



Carl phoned me at 11.30 and said he was about for an hour. I was close to packing up at noon and made my way back down to where my last cast area is. Never, ever had a decent Perch from here but always holds Pike. Too coloured for Perch today in my eyes. First cast nothing, second cast and a hook up on a tasty Perch. In the net she looked a close three. Quick phone call "Mate I'm in stumps, nice Perch in the net can you come and take a photo"

Carl's on his way. I can see the trebles in the net, so thought get the hooks out and put the rod away safe out of harm's way in this tight spot.

Then it went wrong, the net was snagged on a log. I pulled too hard Mr. Perch flipped in the net, I grabbed for it and splosh gone. All Carl could see was me over the net and a "Nooooooo" on the breeze. Fair play he did not laugh, but a moment gone. But he's right I suppose when he said "You still caught it though mate". True enough. So yeah happy with this session.

Now will it ever stop raining?


It's now nearly Christmas, as ever I simply must add a Carol. And I'll be climbing down from Yat Rock now, to put my feet up.

May I wish you all a Merry Christmas.





And that as they say is that.

Be lucky, no infact be very lucky.

Monty Dalrymple

Thursday, 26 November 2015

Arse Like The Japanese Flag

What does Christmas food mean to you? Turkey and all the trimmings, maybe mince pies and clotted cream? Terrys chocolate orange was always a favorite of mine as a kid.

As I've got older the taste buds have changed and I like savoury. Me, well Denise and I cook Christmas dinner and like many, you're cooking all day for loads of people. And come sit down time we don't fancy it.

I tend to wait for the Cheese board. And this year, well today we knocked up some homemade pickled onions.The one on the left has added Scotch Bonnet and Chilli Flakes and for the weak hearts the right hand side is much milder.

These must now remain closed until Christmas Day, it could play me right up on Boxing Day at the exit.Time will tell, wet wipes in the freezer as we speak. Oh come on it can't be boring fishing all the time.




I also see from high up on Yat Rock, the Barbel Face Book world is in flux again. I'm sure Frank and Fred my cartoon Boris mates will be along sometime soon to offer some views.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Christmas Wish List

Dear Father Christmas,


I thought by getting my request in early, you will look after me again this year? I've been a good boy with maybe the odd blip or two that involved prostitutes and a crack den. But yes on the whole, it has been plain sailing.

Not asking for too much as in reality you're very busy, what with only working one day a year you fat work shy bastard. So please consider the following. This book below appeals to me, as in a past life we used to partake in a bit of  ferreting not to be confused with gerbaling. First published in 1935 and is widely available in various book emporiums




On route to the United Kingdom, please, please, pretty please would you stop in Japan and collect this Megabass Arms rod a snip at a thousand dollars, oh and while I'm at it, it would need a nice tarty reel to sit on it. So a Megabass Hedgehog that comes in at around six hundred dollars would be pretty useful.






I do hope you don't think that I'm taking the piss with this letter and life is treating you well. I look forward to receiving these gifts on Christmas Day.

Kindest Regards

Monty Dalrymple.


Keeping with the Christmas theme, Mr DD can't make the social on Saturday the twelfth. The reason? His going to watch AFC Wimbledon Vs Stevenage, totally piss poor in my opinion. But get this he has only fished once this year. On a guided trip to the Wye, with an angler who was caught fishing out of season a while back. The guide also charges thirty pounds for a bag of boilies, a fool and his money!

Even worse he is giving up his Longford Estate Ticket, the estate not content in charging over five hundred pounds a season. Coarse fishing will not now start until October the first in future. Looks like the coarse guys have been fucked over by the Salmon anglers. Nowt new in that then is their? Chin up though mate, you always have that tip the Wandle as a back up water! Not the same as the glorious Hampshire Avon, but more or less on your doorstep. Every cloud son, every cloud.


Be Lucky

Monty

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Two Sugars?

It's been a funny few days for fishing, two trips. One I caught on, one that saw a blank. Sunday saw me holding onto a brolly for dear life, while ensconced on the river. Two Barbel hung themselves on the end in a short three hour trip.

Sadly I was bored, so bored that the camera did not get whipped out. It's hard to understand why as for ten years or more they occupied my every angling moment. Ying said to me recently "Just how many Barbel to people need to catch", he has lost his Barbel mojo also. It's not the species's fault, possibly it's the sitting on one's arse  doing fuck all that does my brain in. One well known expert in the angling media, casts out, set his baitrunners and proceeds to read a book!


Today though was a blast, though fishless. My beady eye has been tracking the water level on a different river since Sunday night. Dropping daily so things looked good. Quick call to Gruff to see if he was about today, yep so the jobs a good'un.

This little lot below was sorted, what Pike or Perch would forgo a munch on one of these?



Now before I went to bed last night, one last look at the EA website, all looked good. Arrived before Gruff, quick phone call and told him where I was heading. Walked down to the river and was greeted by this, a coffee coloured swirling mess. How the fuck did this happen, with no overnight rain. Pulled out the phone, checked the levels at it had spike over two feet since midnight and continued to rise while we fished.

All I can think of is that it poured down on the other side of the South Downs. Still you're not at work the winds howling in your face like a demented banshee, life is good.




Moving downstream to find some smoother water, began chucking various bits of wood and metal to no avail. Then out of the gloom up popped Gruff, with his new Lumby Trickster. Silent and stealthy for a big lad, one minute he was not about, then poof, just like the shopkeeper in  Mr. Benn as if by magic he appeared.




We both fished hard, nice mild day to be out. Sure the winds an absolute bastard gusting up to 50 Mph, lures for some of us getting blown into trees, but all rescued with my cat like dexterity.




After five hours we sat down in a sheltered spot for a cuppa. "Had enough kid, winds getting worse and I am fooked". "Yeah come on then old'un let's piss off".




No fish, but a good laugh with some proper banter as always. Glad I made the effort, family stuff will have me by the balls for the next few weeks, so I'll struggle to get out, In that time perhaps I'd better read the instructions on my new camera, instead of just point and hope-plum.

As for Coops and his Perch Auction Day, the lad is busy with work and I dare say he will be even busier after recent events. Being the gent I am, I've paid an additional hundred pound into the fund for Iwan. So no rush big boy, when ever you can get away.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 31 October 2015

Canal Session

Living  where we do our local rivers tend to rise very quickly in the Autumn and Winter and hold a tea colouration for a length of time. Great for some species, less so for others. This week we have had the first proper flush through for ages. Two of my club waters are around three feet or so up with tons of crap coming down, no good then for lure fishing.

I've needed a backup venue for a while now, done some looking about in the close season and came up with a canal for some winter sport. The first time in around fifteen years that has seen me wet a line on a water like this.

Where to start though, going in blind. Gruff and I had four hours this morning  and I expected to blank. Loads of leaves on the surface and mid water. The bottom was thick with them, well out of our comfort zone here. Few features and long blank stretches.

Tough fishing in that presentation was a nightmare on a straight retrieve, the surface debris was dragging my Kyopto all over the place. Gruff was busy casting at squirrels again, hell bent on losing every lure and trace I gave him. Seemingly intent to "Deck The Halls" about six weeks early. He did manage a Jack though and methinks he is getting the lure bug.  






Fish were active though, small silvers were jumping clear all along the canal. But only where the leaves were, the few clear spaces proved fruitless. I went down to a tiny one inch lure and tried slow jigging, hopping them back. It worked after some playing around in that I managed to nick Twelve Perch, dropped three and lost a Jack of about eight pound at the net. The best one below, small compared to our river venues, but something different.

The plus points, no other anglers and a change of scenery and a few fish. The downside, joggers, cyclists, bike riders, ramblers, canoes and heaps of dog shit! This will only ever be a back up water, not somewhere I'd choose to fish if our rivers are in good trim. But nice to have an option, but if my only angling would be on a canal. Well, I'd play a lot more golf than I do now.  

With my Extending Arms Its a Good Three Plus (cough).


A great weeping and a wailing on social media this week over the demise of CAT. Where are the Barbel experts going to peddle their product placement now? What is to happen to the "Coventry Comb Over",  Mr. Pope and even that happy go lucky chap Pete Reading. I feel your pain brothers of the angle.

But face facts, since this issue below around four years ago. The magazine has been on a downward spiral. This was the pinnacle, after that. Sweet fuck all!



Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 25 October 2015

Pike Blank

 I think today could have been my first blank trip of the season, perhaps fishing poorly resulted in no fish. Or the first frost of the Autumn last night put the fish down. But the curse of "I've kitted myself out with some lure gear, fancy giving me some tips" put the mockers on it.

Gruff and I got out together, for the first time in ages. I'm no teacher, expert or owt.  And not fishing for the last three weeks has made me pretty irritable to say the least. But we moved to a river across the county border in search of a decent Pike or two. 

And we did not have a sniff of a fish. No real problem is it, as Gruff said "It's called fishing kid and not catching". Blank trips do not bother me, when you're on the water in such glorious weather, having a natter, a catch up who can complain. Your a  fucking jynx mate, see you next season!



This little lot, tangled my lure on one retrieve, it did have a trace of sorts. But it was pretty poor as I pulled it apart by hand. It had a rubber coating and some very fine like wire running through it, never comes across this before. Still got another lure out of it.




Gruff took a quick snap of me putting a lure out to the far bank. Really enjoying using a bait casting outfit, it is nowhere near as hard as my original concerns, being a clumsy sort of person. Good to be back out after work, work,work. Coops hopefully will be down mid November for his Perch auction day. Your call Coops, thumbs up or down for Gruff to come along? Yeah a nice quick four hour leg stretch today.




SIX HUNDRED YEARS AGO TODAY.

The painting below was done by Sir John Gilbert in the nineteenth century, entitled  "Morning of the Battle of Agincourt". It's my favourite, plenty of books over the years both fact and fiction have been devoured by me on this subject. As a nation we have some great history, though we could maybe do with some chaps with Longbows  on the French side of the channel tunnel at present. Problem solved surely?





My lot West Ham. So far I've been proved wrong, my initial thoughts were we would implode under our new manager. At present we are playing well, the real test is when we have a dip in form. Easy to manage when you are winning, when you're not. Well look at poor Jose at ours yesterday after being sent to the stands as we beat Chelsea 2-1.

He looks like a Fox who has been "lamped".







Lastly I'll get this in early. Gents  a Christmas social on Saturday December the  twelfth? We  don't get together like we used to, so rather than call and text I'm putting it on here.

Mr. DD, Glen C, Carl, KCI, Gruff, Rich The Float Maker. A little laugh prior to Christmas on a local stretch for Pike and Perch. What say you?


Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Perch Fishing Auction

The angling grapevine is buzzing at present, with fellow anglers organising events to raise funds for Iwan Clarke to go to America and undergo treatment for leukemia.

Details of which can be found here........

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/displaySomeoneSpecialPage.action?pageUrl=iwanclarke

All of us in some way have been touched by this awful illness. I was thinking of how I could offer up a few bob to help and came up with this.

I would like to auction a day with me after Perch, on a local river a Thames Tributary. I'm no special angler as you all know, just your average Joe. But I do have the knack of knowing where the decent Perch live, just a few photo's of some nice fish below.







I had a little count up last night and have winkled out just shy of thirty Perch over three pound in the last fifteen years, not a bad number for a once a week angler, who also targets other species.

The day, if anyone makes an offer will have to be a Saturday and from the start of November until the end of the season, your choice. October will be work,work and more work.

You can fish how ever you wish, lures, float fishing, ledgering I'm not fussed. I'll show you all my secret Perch spots, that not even my close  mates know (have to keep some spots back lads, sorry) and hopefully bag you a three pound plus fish. I will also add fifty pounds to Iwan's fund for good measure. The winning bid will also go towards Iwan's treatment.

This blog over the last five years has been many things, but now is maybe the time to put it to good use. I'll end the auction a week on Saturday at 0700Hrs. Feel free to share this if you will, one caveat please keep the venue publicity free.

Don't be shy I don't bite.Just leave a bid as a comment if you will.


Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 18 September 2015

This And That

This little blog entry contains no angling content what so ever and may offer some fruity expletives, so if this causes an offense  may I suggest you read no further.

Below we have the legend that is Danny Dyer, recently this bard, nay wordsmith offered the masses a tweet with his views on 9/11.

Here it is.........  "Can't believe it's been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers it still freaks my nut out to this day" Remember he's not in character but tweeting from the soul.

Pretty powerful and thought provoking stuff. If their is a more cockney geezer on this planet than Dan, well I'll eat my hat. Pie and Mash for breakfast, jellied Eels for lunch and Welks for dinner, seven days a week.




But then I got to thinking, how good would it be if Dan got into politics and went on to become Prime Minister, the possibilities for mirth are endless.

The despatch box for instance, up pops Jeremy Corbyn dressed like a sack of shit.

JC "Mr. Prime Minister, this country is in the grip of a housing crisis, how will you resolve this issue?"

PM" I could not give a fack you mug, it's faacking simple you melt, study hard at school, go to college, then onto university get a blinding degree and get a nice little number, then buy a nice gaff. Piss ball about at school, play the class clown and leave with a D in art. Get a faacking Mcjob and live in social housing, now sit daan you faacking left wing prick, next"

Or if Angela Merkel called on the dog.

AM " Mr Prime Minister we the people of the European Union, feel that the UK should take their fair share of refugees from Syria".

PM " Really you dopey Kraut tart, if you had not opened your faacking trap and suggested you would let them all in, you would not have this problem. The UK now more than ever are so glad to be a faacking island. Oh and before I hang up, Two world wars and one world cup, do da, do da."

I'm going to be contacting Dan's agent on Monday to suggest a change of career, the man is wasted with such stunning intellect. Vote Dan!



RUGBY WORLD CUP.

It all starts tonight, really excited about this. Can we go onto win the Webb Ellis trophy, most definitely but think positive. But really is it twelve years since Johnny kicked this over.




We all piled into the pub early doors on a Saturday morning, a great game was witnessed. Extra time and tense as hell. Then that kick to send the pub into melt down, I'll never forget my mate hugging me and screaming.

"How fucking mad is that we won, fuck me we never win fuck all and we won"

We stayed in the pub all day, the bird I was living with had the 'ump. Come six o'clock in the evening she stormed into the pub with my dinner and cutlery and slammed it on the table(we lived eight doors away), the place fell silent. I piped up "Any chance of some gravy babes?"

Needless to say we split up soon after. But I've grown up now people, matured over the last twelve years. Gotten married, become sensible. I'll be popping out to watch tonight's game and promised the wife I'll be home by Sunday lunchtime. That is real progress and real love.


Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Pretty Girl

At dawn, creeping around in the damp today after a good Chub on surface lures resulted in abject failure. The summer has seen me try and nick one over five pounds on a insect lure. Had a few but way smaller than the target weight.

Three hours, three blood stained, racker rash hours saw me waving the white flag of submission. Not a swim, nay a cast would let me even get close to my chosen quarry. The Pike when they were not twisting and turning, while my finger was being ripped to bits. Were jumping clear with gay abandon, missing the lure by miles and doing somersaults. Every Chub in the vicinity were scared witless and slunk away. Time possibly has done for me with this little quest for now.

Change of plan, walk around two miles back downstream and try and see if a decent Perch was about. Little problem, only one tiny Kopyto in my bag, all the other lures were for surface fishing. If I got "Jacked" it may have been game over. Plastic fucked, good night and god bless.

I'll admit I cheated, chose a swim that does hold good Perch. It's not been fished by me at all this season. But, well you know how it is at times sporting behaviour get's kicked into touch. Six casts and a little nibble, slow tap. Next cast, really slowed the retrieve down and whack. I play my lure caught Perch hard, get them into the net before they realise what is going on. Just as well as the hook was out into the net.






A very chunky fish and not put on the scales, my tendency is not to bother unless they look like going three pounds or over. But photos can be very deceiving as to what you see in the flesh. Recently social media has been in a tizz over a reported four pound Perch from Grafham on a LAS day. Looking at that photo from Grafham, it looks like it would hardly make a three pound fish. But who can tell, why would an angler lie? What happens in the dark comes out in the light surely? Me, well this little stunner above I'd give around 2.8lbs. Many anglers will never see a decent Perch, so jump on the bandwagon that is Face Prowler  and piss and moan. Perhaps today she should have been weighed, but why? Not every fish needs a weight, she was a belter. So thanks darling, the pleasure is all mine.


Now next Saturday McGruff and I are supposed to be attending the PAC Convention. But if the rivers are in such good nick, what is a man to do. Spend the day on the river and maybe catch the fish of your dreams. Or spend it in a conference center with a load of hairy arsed Pikers.



Please don't rain, please don't rain.


Be Lucky

Monty D


Thursday, 10 September 2015

Small Pred's

Between going away for a few days, I did manage to squeeze in a couple of trips. Bank holiday weekend saw me head off down the river to try out my new outfit. Jacks, Jacks and yet more Jacks were intent on hurling themselves at every lure used.

But no dramas ensured with the dreaded "bird nests", sure a couple popped up but these were easy to pull through. After a while everything was fine, apart from no Perch showed, again.






So next time out, threw my Loomis ultra light rod in the quiver and decided to fish small spinners, imitation crays and stick baits. Hoping that by fishing them slow along the bottom the small Pike would be avoided. Sure all Pike are good fun, but not when I'm targeting Perch.

The Perch showed in numbers, but not in size, a lost unseen fish in a known Perch hole has me wondering though. Trying to convince myself it was a Pike, but it's one that will keep me awake at night of that I'm sure. It had that head thump of a good Perch, felt very, very solid too. Until the hook slipped. One of those moments, when the heart pumps and your mouth goes dry and you think-shit!  







I'll not complain overly, as fish are being banked and it's all good fun. But you want a few nice fish before the Autumn deluge arrives and scuppers my plans.


Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 28 August 2015

New Toy

I'll admit I am a tackle tart, much preferring to have rods built than buy off the self models. Does it make me a better angler, not in the slightest. But getting up for work each day at 0430 and doing what I do, well new gear makes me smile.

Yesterday my new baitcasting rod arrived, built by Marty at Wye Valley Angling see here https://www.facebook.com/wvacustomrods?fref=photo&hc_location=ufi

I've had rods made over the years by Barder, Mark Tunley and Dave Lumb. All make great rods and Marty is the same. When Marty and I spoke, we discussed what I wanted, action of the rod and colour scheme to blend in with the reel. Like I said and unashamed tart! It  has a casting weight of between 5 and 28 grams, though I've been throwing as small as three gram jig heads in the back garden today. And Marty tells me it will shift 35 grams, so it covers all I need.










So well happy with the quality of the rod and the advice Marty gave me me. If you're in the market for a new toy, maybe give him a call and see what he can do? I'll use mine over the weekend.


One for the Welsh

Seeing  that's it's a Bank Holiday here in the UK, may as well do some national stereotyping. Calm down my Celtic brethren it's a joke, or is it?




Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Scratching

A few weeks back I mentioned how hard fishing on my rivers is in August, for me anyhow. The last two trips reinforce that view.

Last Sunday my wife Denise mentioned in the week that she fancied joining me. How do you get out of that one? People said "Don't be a fool" or "No way would I ever let my misses join me fishing". But she would not be swayed and came along for a few hours. She was to act as my ghillie, do what I say when I say. Never easy with Denise, trust me she likes to question everything.

The net was not needed, the recent rain had made the river rise by a couple of feet and colour up badly. But she enjoyed herself when she was not sleeping, she can fall asleep on a washing line the girl. On the way out of the fishery a Stote popped up and hissed at her, she screamed! City girl my lady through and through. She did say though "I reckon that creature had never seen a black face befor hence the reaction." Gotta love her for her sense of humour.



Today a different beat and a meet up with The Dutchman, AKA Croydon Carl in  the hope of some good Chub that inhabit this stretch of river. You would have thought with the weather being so hot the Chub would be bang on the surface lures. Not a chance they had not read the script and by christ it was hot. Just navigating along the pathways was a chore, late summer and the foliage is still over head high and thick. Very few anglers about where myself and a few mates fish.




So yeah, scratching for a few fish. The Dutchman managed two Jacks before departing around 10.30 to do yet another BBQ for his lot. I hung it out until 12.30 and had four Perch all about this stamp. Normally I'd not bother to take a photo of small fish, but the blog does need some piscean content. It's tough at present, very.




In the week a mate asked if I was "up" for some Barbel fishing soon and in short the answer is no. We used to fish all of the Berkshire rivers, Pats, Loddon, Kennet and we had some good times. The problem with our local Surrey rivers, for me anyhow, is that they are slow and sluggish in comparison to those in Berks. And  do not inspire me in any way. Shame but at present it does not float my boat.

It may change come the Autumn, but if you look at Fatwa you would think Barbel fishing has had it's day. Glass half empty, or glass half full? I'll let you decide.



Be Lucky

Monty D

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Senior Moment

OK so Alzheimers is really no laughing matter, my Nan passed away from this illness and friends have relatives that are suffering too. But life is always around to give you a lift mostly.

Kev" McGruff" Daly phoned me today, it went a little like this......

The group secretary put a call through to me.

"Jason I've got that northern Monkey from Doncaster you fish with on the phone, can you take the call?"
"Yeah sure"

KMD " Alright kid, I've just received a text and it says from JB, but I do not recognize the number it may be Howsie mucking about"

Me" Probably Howsie mate, let me have the number and I'll look for it on my mobile"

KMD " Hold on, where's me phone, has anyone seen my phone, where's my 'effing phone?"

Me "Mate your using it to talk to me"

KMD "Oh FFS, it's all getting to much"

I've not laughed like that in ages. Priceless you silly old sod , utterly priceless.



KMD has though recently taken over the Walton-On-Thames PAC region with his mate as joint RO's, details of which can be found here. Good luck with this lads.

http://www.waltonpac.org.uk/



This came through the post late last week from overseas and a rod to go with it should be here soon. In the close season I was given some casting lessons with a baitcasting outfit by a geezer called Steve Wade. Got in a right mess, but got the basics.

So I thought sod it, bite the bullet and get your own set up. Learning to cast with a centerpin was pretty easy to be honest. With this, it may be a very slow learning curve. Need to have patience, plenty of it after looking at the videos on Youtube.





Be Lucky.

Who am I again?

Oh yeah.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Roll Up Roll Up

A total and unashamed blog post this evening. Firstly I buy these lures and I'm not getting a kick back in anyway. But Mark Houghton, purveyor of these beauties maybe "Jacking it in". I'll be honest it must be very hard to make a living at this game.

Hours spent hunched over a work bench, covered in wood dust, body and eyes aching. Not for me even if I could make these lures.

They do catch fish, trust me they do. Hand made by Mark and christ knows how much time and effort goes into making these.








They are finished to an extremely high standard, and when you can see them working you can understand why they catch. Yep the conditions are tough at present on the rivers, but they have pulled fish out for me.

So if you fancy getting some look here....

https://www.facebook.com/MarkHoughtonCustomLures

Yeah I know I don't do Face Book, but needs and must's.

Or here....

http://mhcustomlures.blogspot.co.uk/


I get plenty of views on here from America, how about it my American cousins. You can order with complete confidence. As I say an unashamed plug, but I think it's worth it.



Lastly this, it simply had to be done. "Put it on the slate Dave" One last time.



https://youtu.be/bxKA6e7ReXU









Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 1 August 2015

August

Probably my least favourite angling month, looking back over the years this particular time on the rivers that I fish is always tough. Irrespective of how I choose to fish. Levels tend to be low and the weed has taken hold with a vengeance.Today was no different.


The day got off to a bad start, arriving at the station and an announcement bellowed "Due to over running engineering works all trains are subject to late running and cancellations". That was enough for me to accuse South West Trains, of being akin to a lady's genitalia and then some. A journey that should take twenty minutes morphed into ninety.

Arrived much later than normal and set about fishing. Hard, very hard today. Two small Perch of about a pound from the swim above. Then a long walk to a favourite shady pool of mine that always holds fish.

Not today though, this was the only other fish to grace my net. She followed the lure twice before turning away. Next cast I could see her following again, so pausing the retrieve drew a response. Madame shot forward, mouth wide open and gulp. Nice chunky little girl who will make someone very happy later in the season. Surprised no Pike  played ball today, but it's not a blank session so one must not grumble. But as I've mentioned August on my venues can be tough.



Moving on news came into the Yat phone in the week, that caused a sharp intake of breath and a solemn head shake.What ails me? Well the American channel HBO, has plans to give All Creatures Great and Small the Hollywood treatment. To make it "Glossier" and "Sexier".


Fuck right off with this idea. If like I you were brought up in the seventies and eighties, this was Sunday evening television. A comfort blanket if you will, to soothe the soul. Sundays growing up in our house went thus.

Dad down the pub at lunchtime, while Mum hit the valium and the staff cooked dinner, us Dalrymples have employed some good people over the years. Dinner over. Dad snored his bollocks off on the sofa, Mum played bridge with her friends. While I played Space Invaders on the Atari.

Then All Creatures Great and Small came on and we all convened in the west wing. So please Mr. HBO, leave it as it is. It's part of OUR past . Mrs Pumphrey's dog Tricki Woo was a Pekinese. If the Yanks get hold of it, it will no doubt be a Pit Bull named Tyson!

I'll not even start on the prick who shot Cecil the Lion. But just a thought for any of you Big Game Hunters who are looking in. How about instead of getting a hard on, over the recoil of a gun. You simply take a photo? Leave only footprints and look back on treasured memories.

Be Lucky

Monty D